I am slightly obsessed with black wattle seed pods at present. There is a particular place in the bush where the ground is littered with them at this time of the year.
I keep trying to take the one definitive photo that will express what I find so fascinating about the shapes and colours of these seed pods and the accidental patterns they form as they congregate in drifts against fallen branches and sun bleached tufts of grass. I am yet to achieve that one photo but have plenty of not-quite-but-almost attempts.
The last time I was there I collected a bulging pocket full of seed pods that are now drying out on my work table. I’m hoping they find their way into some kind of collage.
I’m going away for a few days later today. I will not have my computer with me so won’t be able to reply to your comments until mid next week. Talk to you then…
Today in the bush the sound of my camera shutter disturbed some kangaroos further up the hillside. I hadn’t been aware they were there until they bounded directly towards me. On seeing me they stopped in surprise as their forward momentum would lead them slap bang into me. For a moment they appeared unsure as to which way to go then, gathering their momentum, they bounded straight past me and on into the cover of the trees.
These particular kangaroos weren’t the big scary kind I sometimes encounter. They seemed very gentle and the smallest one paused and gave me a long soulful look before following the others.
There are lots of different interpretations for the symbolic meaning of kangaroos. The following one has particular resonance for me at present: ‘Kangaroo is here to remind you that you can only move forward right now. For this reason, once you have achieved your momentum keep moving forward and never look back. All in all, know that moving forward is enough – that you do not necessarily have to be clear on the path. Simply moving is called for and the bigger the leaps and bounds the better… This animal may also be letting you know that it is time to escape a bad situation. Simply allow your instincts to guide you and get the heck out of there!’ https://www.spirit-animals.com/kangaroo/
Like the kangaroos I thought I was going one way then yesterday realised the obstacles in front me on that particular path are too difficult to overcome. The momentum to move forward in my life is gathering strength but I am still not entirely sure where it is taking me. Paths plotted by my rational mind aren’t working out. It’s time to let my instincts guide me.
Nothing to push
collecting my momentum
I pause for a moment
to change direction
The lace curtains of suburbia occluding the full picture.
When I read the word occluded on Patrick’s blog challenge this morning https://pixtowords.com/2018/04/15/occluded-pic-and-a-word-challenge-135/ I wasn’t entirely sure of its meaning. Since then I have spent the day experiencing possible interpretations of the word. For a start I think I accidentally occluded my followers from my blog when I changed the URL this morning. Not sure what I can do about that. Wordpress confuses me sometimes.
Over the course of the day reality got in the way and occluded my fantasy of quickly changing my lifestyle from a laid back country one to an uber cool inner city one. I still want to make this change but unavoidable facts like finances, right timing and the availability of suitable rentals mean this is more likely to happen later in the year.
Ah well – such is life as Australia’s great anti-hero Ned Kelly said when condemned to death by hanging. At least that is not my fate. I am merely condemned to continue continuing in this milieu.
While I sometimes can’t see the wood for the trees it’s not such a bad fate after all. Today in a shop I didn’t have change to purchase a low cost item. The shop attendant was reluctant to change my $50 note. I was going to leave the item behind when the woman behind me suddenly offered to pay. I offered what little change I had but she said it didn’t matter. I thought that kind of thing only happened in Facebook memes. Seems like my version of reality is being occluded by some larger version which includes the cold hard facts but also the unexpected kindness of strangers.
It’s been a long time since I did one of Linda Hill’s SOC prompts so I’m a bit out of practice. Her prompt for this week is the syllable “Mon” so here goes https://lindaghill.com/2018/04/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-14-18/
Monica threw her hands in the air and cried despairingly “OMG is it winter already?”
Well I’m not actually sure who Monica is but the sentiments she expresses are also mine. This year our summer went on for months. On Friday people were still swimming in the ocean and the temperature reached 28C. Late that night however the season suddenly changed. I woken around 4 am to the sound of tearing winds and pouring rain. The rain continued all day yesterday and the temperature struggled to reach 14C. Now, on Sunday morning, the rain has eased but squalls are still blowing in from the Southern Ocean. The wind is still gale strength but the temperature is slightly warmer. Last night on TV the weather girl announced that we are unlikely to see any more temperatures in the high 20s before next spring.
Winter weather bring out the worst in my current rental accommodation. The guttering around the house leaks and the back porch becomes a flood zone in heavy rain. My neighbour has a faulty heater which he refuses to fix. Throughout the cooler months the fan on it winds up and fills the air with white noise so loud it disrupts my sleep and gives me headaches. The guttering on his garage has not been fitted properly and water cascades into my yard whenever it rains. I could go on and on describing the problems I’ve had with that man but as he won’t change his ways there isn’t really any point…
Monetarily lost my train of thought there grumbling about my neighbour. He tends to do that to me. Anyway to cut a long story short, winter weather in this place is not something I want to live through again. A previous owner painted the walls brown (why?!) so in overcast weather I’m stumbling around in the dimly lit boxy rooms filled with the drear of previous tenants depressions. The place is infested with Daddy Long Leg Spiders who delight in spinning trails of ghostly webs across the corners of all the rooms. As winter progresses they hang down and collect dust. I sweep them away periodically but the spiders get busy with replacements instantly. Last winter was my first in this place. I sincerely hope it is my last and that the rental I am going to look at this week is better than this joint.
It’s definitely time Monica and I packed up and moved on… At least all these problems are motivating me to get organized enough to make that happen.
Yesterday’s rain was the first real rain we’ve had in months. It was a novel experience and at one point through the day I found myself transfixed by it. I stood at the back door wondering at the miracle of wet stuff falling from the sky. I tried taking some photos from inside –
Rain, after months of dry weather is quite wonderful but you can definitely have to much of it. As I write another rain squall has blown in and the temperature has dropped again. Time to get working to warm up.
For months I’ve been feeling like I need to move on from here but all my efforts have come to nothing.
After chasing a number of rentals in the new area I want to move to and finding them all inadequate I began to think it was never going to happen. For a while I toyed with the idea of going and camping out in the desert until things improve but that idea didn’t really fly.
The only thing to do seemed to be to resign myself to staying put and making the best of things. I’ve been attempting to do that with varying degrees of success for the past couple of months. The problem is that at least once a week or so I start feeling totally stuck, bored and just a little depressed. Whenever that happens I go online and check out rentals.
Yesterday I found one that just might work. In fact, it might just be very, very good indeed. I’ve arranged to see it and will make the 3 1/2 hour drive between here and there next week.
If it’s right I’ll have to get things happening fast. It will be a scramble to find the money I need and I may live on rice for a bit but I think I can do it. Getting organised and moving my stuff will be a logistical puzzle but not one I haven’t dealt with before.
Maybe, just maybe I’ll finally get to make that big positive change in life that I know I need.
Walking the beaches – a continuum through the years. Around me the muted grey greens of dune plants and stretches of blue sea/blue sky against a backdrop of sun bleached sand.
Childhood holidays spent wandering beaches as a genderless, ageless explorer/naturalist/botanist – leading my little brothers on expeditions to discover rocky pinnacles around the next cove where we scrambled sky high to investigate piles of broken shells cast into crevices by winter storms.
Time and colours stretching through the years to the time when I led my own children through holidays of sunny days and sandy beaches then ice creams at the shop after slogging walks along the shore.
Children growing taller and earnest discussions as to the names of things and the whys and wherefores of the moon and tides
then on to lonely midlife crisis head bowed walks pondering the way forward.
Now, and into the future – still walking the beaches, the names and whys and wherefores ceasing to matter as some kind of larger meaning emerges – the intensity of the quests, the journeys, the lovings and the not lovings draining away into a continuum of being.
This haibun first appeared on one of my previous blogs in a slightly different form. It suits my current mood so I have decided to reblog it for https://scvincent.com/2018/04/12/thursday-photo-prompt-footprints-writephoto/
On her blog https://wanderessence.com/ Cathy Birdsong Dutchak poses many creative questions about travelling and how it effects us. One that stimulates my thoughts is https://wanderessence.com/2018/04/09/on-returning-home/
For me a lot of the experience of travel happens after the journey has ended. On Cathy’s site I saw a photo of the Treasury building at Petra. I too have been there and seen that the sight. I can still recall the heat, the light, the colours, the smells and even some of the conversations I had with people that day. I still have a body memory of how uncomfortable it was straddling a camel’s back (who knew they were so broad!).
Visiting Petra from Australia was the culmination of planning and daydreaming that had gone for years. For a long time I thought it was just a daydream and I’d never make it but finally opportunity opened it’s doors and I jumped at the chance. My experiences there led to much writing, journaling and reflecting. These musing finally found distillation in the following haiga –
Peeling back the layers of my experience of Petra all these years later what I relish most is the self I became when I was there – a freer, less encumbered version of myself – a self not weighed down with the responsibilities of home, work and family – a self who could relate to people spontaneously and experience the moment now without any strings attached.
It is that essence of my journey to Petra that I tried to express in my haiga. Maybe that wormhole I wrote about is one many of us experience when travelling to exotic locations far from home – a wormhole to a world and a self that, on its deepest level, is whole, complete and at one with life.
Often too it is only on returning home that these nuanced layers of meaning to a travel experiences reveal themselves. Certainly that has been my experience.
At its deepest level it seems to me that we travel to find the parts of ourselves we have misplaced in the busyness of our everyday life.